chelsybernard927
Freshman
- Trap Mula
- 1,491
Hello, visitor!
Article about over 50s dating nz:
But we',re still out here trying. The grim realities of dating over 50. OPINION: “Every soul is jaded, and every heart is hungry.” So reads the entire text on one of my prospective Tinder date’s profiles.
➤ ►
Click here for over 50s dating nz
I’m starting to feel it, at least the jaded part. I swipe left. I like to compare notes on Internet dating with my best friend, who also happens to be my ex-husband. We’ve been separated for more than three years, and we’re genuinely in each other’s corners here. Online is surely the only way anyone meets anyone these days, so we must apply ourselves. But let me tell you, it’s grim out there. I live in small town New Zealand, and I’m only looking for women. On Tinder, I often get the “There’s no-one around you message. I’ve tried Bumble, Hinge, OK Cupid and Her too, and they all have their own version of this. I’ve done the maths on my dating chances, and statistically, it’s no surprise I remain single, all obvious character flaws aside. There are 6931 women in the 40 to 60 age bracket in my town. I’m 51, so I think that age range is reasonable. I’ve dated younger, but it didn’t go well. Assuming women-loving-women are two per cent of the population - which seems to be the most accurate figure if you're not counting women who just have bi-curious fantasies when they see Gillian Anderson in a sheer négligée on Sex Education – only 138 of those are likely to be gay. Not counting myself, I think the other 137 are married or otherwise hooked up. The only thing that gives me hope is that 137 is an odd number, so there could be one woman floating around looking for her person. Unless there are throuples. There are probably throuples. Sigh, I may need to widen my search to include nearby Wellington and the queer-friendly Kāpiti Coast. Maybe the West Coast too. I hear Karamea is the lesbian capital of the South Island. My profile says something fun about “looking for recommendations for Netflix, podcasts and easy-tramping-destinations”. In reality, I can research that stuff myself. More honestly, it might say: “I am vain and scared and stuck. I want to control everything, and yet I have no leadership skills. “I can’t cook or build anything or stick to a hobby, although god knows I have tried nearly everything from icing cookies to paper plant-making to roller derby. “I am never, ever serious but I can’t stand being wrong.” And yet, sometimes people match with me. They may have just had a cramp in their hand that forced a spasm to the right: It’s impossible to say. Inevitably, my match will ask the ultimate uninspired question: How was your day? I panic. If it’s a day like today, I think: I didn’t seize the day today. I haven’t seized the day all week. I did what I needed to do at work, ate chips for dinner and walked my dog. One thing I have noticed when your selection criteria is women over 45 is that fully 90 per cent of them say they do yoga. This is in the highlighted section where you can choose five things you’re into. Mine is: Dogs, Netflix, sleeping, reading, and eating-pastries-while-professing-to-be-keto. Being somewhat of an amateur statistician (see above), It just doesn’t seem possible to me that so many women do yoga. There would need to be a studio every 3 metres along the high street. Besides, yoga is surely, unquestionably, and without doubt, the most boring activity on the planet. It is so boring that you literally have to focus on your breathing to remind you to stay alive while you’re doing it. I eventually realise that it’s probably code for: “I may be over 40, but I’m still flexible enough to have sex.” I put men in my search, just for fun. Rob, 54, says he’s “Here for sex, very strong in bed.” I applaud his initiative and wonder if it pays off. WARREN GAMBLE: “So, what have you learned from each of your three marriages?” Crikey. It's not a question I expect on the first date. I fumble for an answer. “Ah, maybe that weddings are a really fun day out?” I reply, rising intonation matching my rising panic. “And, what are you looking for?” And that is the real question. “They’ve changed their Bumble [dating app] by-lines to “looking for real commitment …,” writes Verity Johnson. I'm 59, I have had the aforementioned three marriages, I have three kids. I feel like I've run out of agreeableness to another marriage, even a live-in situation seems too much. So what am I looking for? “Ah, I don't really know,” I tell my coffee companion, “Maybe I shouldn't be dating.” Things went downhill quickly from there. She took it personally that meeting her had somehow put me off dating. It's not true, I protest, but she wasn’t hearing it. We hugged goodbye, and she shrugged and shook her head, as if to say, sort it out. But later I remember on her own dating profile, in the "My Basics" section with the little emojis, she had put "Don't Know Yet" next to the magnifying glass. I guess there is an assumption that in your 50s you will have everything sorted, it was certainly mine when I look back through the mists of time to my 20s and 30s. It didn't occur to me that people that old wouldn't have it figured out.
Article about over 50s dating nz:
But we',re still out here trying. The grim realities of dating over 50. OPINION: “Every soul is jaded, and every heart is hungry.” So reads the entire text on one of my prospective Tinder date’s profiles.
➤ ►
Click here for over 50s dating nzI’m starting to feel it, at least the jaded part. I swipe left. I like to compare notes on Internet dating with my best friend, who also happens to be my ex-husband. We’ve been separated for more than three years, and we’re genuinely in each other’s corners here. Online is surely the only way anyone meets anyone these days, so we must apply ourselves. But let me tell you, it’s grim out there. I live in small town New Zealand, and I’m only looking for women. On Tinder, I often get the “There’s no-one around you message. I’ve tried Bumble, Hinge, OK Cupid and Her too, and they all have their own version of this. I’ve done the maths on my dating chances, and statistically, it’s no surprise I remain single, all obvious character flaws aside. There are 6931 women in the 40 to 60 age bracket in my town. I’m 51, so I think that age range is reasonable. I’ve dated younger, but it didn’t go well. Assuming women-loving-women are two per cent of the population - which seems to be the most accurate figure if you're not counting women who just have bi-curious fantasies when they see Gillian Anderson in a sheer négligée on Sex Education – only 138 of those are likely to be gay. Not counting myself, I think the other 137 are married or otherwise hooked up. The only thing that gives me hope is that 137 is an odd number, so there could be one woman floating around looking for her person. Unless there are throuples. There are probably throuples. Sigh, I may need to widen my search to include nearby Wellington and the queer-friendly Kāpiti Coast. Maybe the West Coast too. I hear Karamea is the lesbian capital of the South Island. My profile says something fun about “looking for recommendations for Netflix, podcasts and easy-tramping-destinations”. In reality, I can research that stuff myself. More honestly, it might say: “I am vain and scared and stuck. I want to control everything, and yet I have no leadership skills. “I can’t cook or build anything or stick to a hobby, although god knows I have tried nearly everything from icing cookies to paper plant-making to roller derby. “I am never, ever serious but I can’t stand being wrong.” And yet, sometimes people match with me. They may have just had a cramp in their hand that forced a spasm to the right: It’s impossible to say. Inevitably, my match will ask the ultimate uninspired question: How was your day? I panic. If it’s a day like today, I think: I didn’t seize the day today. I haven’t seized the day all week. I did what I needed to do at work, ate chips for dinner and walked my dog. One thing I have noticed when your selection criteria is women over 45 is that fully 90 per cent of them say they do yoga. This is in the highlighted section where you can choose five things you’re into. Mine is: Dogs, Netflix, sleeping, reading, and eating-pastries-while-professing-to-be-keto. Being somewhat of an amateur statistician (see above), It just doesn’t seem possible to me that so many women do yoga. There would need to be a studio every 3 metres along the high street. Besides, yoga is surely, unquestionably, and without doubt, the most boring activity on the planet. It is so boring that you literally have to focus on your breathing to remind you to stay alive while you’re doing it. I eventually realise that it’s probably code for: “I may be over 40, but I’m still flexible enough to have sex.” I put men in my search, just for fun. Rob, 54, says he’s “Here for sex, very strong in bed.” I applaud his initiative and wonder if it pays off. WARREN GAMBLE: “So, what have you learned from each of your three marriages?” Crikey. It's not a question I expect on the first date. I fumble for an answer. “Ah, maybe that weddings are a really fun day out?” I reply, rising intonation matching my rising panic. “And, what are you looking for?” And that is the real question. “They’ve changed their Bumble [dating app] by-lines to “looking for real commitment …,” writes Verity Johnson. I'm 59, I have had the aforementioned three marriages, I have three kids. I feel like I've run out of agreeableness to another marriage, even a live-in situation seems too much. So what am I looking for? “Ah, I don't really know,” I tell my coffee companion, “Maybe I shouldn't be dating.” Things went downhill quickly from there. She took it personally that meeting her had somehow put me off dating. It's not true, I protest, but she wasn’t hearing it. We hugged goodbye, and she shrugged and shook her head, as if to say, sort it out. But later I remember on her own dating profile, in the "My Basics" section with the little emojis, she had put "Don't Know Yet" next to the magnifying glass. I guess there is an assumption that in your 50s you will have everything sorted, it was certainly mine when I look back through the mists of time to my 20s and 30s. It didn't occur to me that people that old wouldn't have it figured out.